January 2011
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fartwithheadphoneson asked: I WILL CUT YOU. DON'T AGREE WITH MY SELF-CRITICISM, IT MAKES YOU FUNNY AND INTERESTING.
December 2010
48 posts
Bumper Sticker: "Oh Hell yeah, I'm from Texas"
The other day, driving through Tyler, TX, I was behind a white pickup truck with a sticker on the rear window that read:
“Oh Hell yeah, I’m from Texas!”
I have a number of problems with this and I’m not sure how many I will end up going into in this post.
The main problem I have is this: YOU’RE IN TEXAS, FOOL!!! WE’RE ALL FROM TEXAS!!! YOU’RE NOT...
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Sandpiper
So, I’ve always been really good at finding songs that convey the exact message I wish to send people. Whether the message be in a storm of fury, fleeting passion, mourning, rejoicing, for family, for friends, enemies, co-workers, etc.
This phenomenon is probably due to both my extensive music library, as well as the mood of music I typically subscribe to.
This isn’t Delilah and...
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“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.”
– David Foster Wallace (1962-2008)
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“I stand here, naked before you. Judge me, you bitch.”
– Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
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“When I was in college, if I had a ton of studying to do and I had, say, a big...”
– Marie Forleo (via fartwithheadphoneson)
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“…I just asked Google a question & used Yahoo answers for the results....”
– Unknown
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Ten People You Should Know... But Probably Don't
First, let me add a little disclaimer. I’m not insinuating that these people are unknown. They’re all definitely famous to their own degrees in their own way. Some have thousands of Facebook friends, hundreds of thousands of YouTube views, and even have tight fan bases, always willing to show support. So, before you go off and get offended, consider this as a tight fan base member,...
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Jeff Sessions
Jeff Sessions just made a reference to Aladdin and genies on the Senate floor, during a debate about the START treaty.
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Jafar Panahi Sentenced to 6 Years in Jail, 20... →
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Jenifer Ringer is a beautiful woman
Browsing AOL News today, I noticed an article with the description:
When a critic wrote that Jenifer Ringer looked ‘as if she’d eaten one sugar plum too many,’ it set off a firestorm.
What the fuck is wrong with these people? This is a beautiful 37-year-old woman, who looks healthy as can be on this still from the Today show. She looks amazing… I would totally bone...
The JHS Curtain Club Deserves a Consistently...
I had the pleasure of spending my Saturday afternoon at the Jacksonville High School auditorium, watching my old thespian troupe perform Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt’s musical The Fantasticks.
It was kind of strange, at first, because I hadn’t attended a show at JHS in some time, so I was completely unaware of what to expect, who to expect, and what the audience would look like....
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This post is dedicated to my newest follower
First, everything was casual….
And then, we were in love. <3 <3 <3
And then… I caught her with another man.
And my heart was sad. </3
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Vaginal Discharge, Part III: Sarah Silverman's PSA
For those of you familiar with my previous posts on vaginal discharge, I’m sure you’ll find this clip of Sarah Silverman’s appearance on Conan very humorous and helpful. Sarah is definitely one of my (three) favorite people on Earth and I am very glad she is reaching out to women who might be insecure with the odor of their vagina, much like she has reached out to bedwetters...
Song of the day:
“Owl Waltz” Seabear
...
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Desperate Jihadwives
One of my favorite comedians, Maysoon Zayid, appeared on Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight, discussing the influence of American television on Saudi Arabian women. Maysoon has cerebral palsy and noted in an earlier Facebook update, “Love there was no mention of the CP so folks that dont know me thought I was on crack!”
On Facebook, she posted this video with the caption:
...
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Telephone
Fading from black, we see a blurred face. This is Michelle. She opens her eyes just as the image takes us to a heavenly beauty, wide-eyed, moving her head about, holding a cellular phone. This is Grace. What follows are the vocals of Michelle, parodying Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” collaboration with Beyonce.
This particular rendition of “Telephone” focuses on the...
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Maniac
Today was definitely one of the best days I’ve had this semester. Of course, that’s not saying much, at all.
Beginning before I went to sleep, I tuned into Daily Grace, and discovered I had been hazed in Tuesday’s Commenting on Comments video.
“Max J. Pell? More like… Max go to hell ‘cause you suck. You’ve been hazed.”
Then, after...
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Craigslist
So, about two-and-a-half weeks ago, I posted a listing on Craigslist titled, “College boy searching for love of his life…”
The text of the listing read as follows:
I’ve recently been in and out of court a number of times and have developed an attraction to older female judge-types. My ideal woman would be around 77 years of age, liberal minded, and Jewish. I would...