Everything is Simple

Maps 3 (23 February 2012)

I’m not okay.

The thought of your presence
drives me, day in and day out.
When frustration rears its ugly head
I recall your beautiful face
and your beautiful soul.

How the memory of you
absorbs all of the negative
making the terrors dissipate.
All I can think is you.
How I love the thought.

And then, your presence becomes a reality.
You are so much more than my mind will allow —
an intimidating beauty — but a beauty I have come to trust.
I look in your eyes and I see the care I’ve always longed for.
I see a future so bright, so lovely.

But, the future is yours.
I am unable to speak the truths of my mind,
for someone has tainted your sweet soul.
Should I speak honestly, I may drive you —
away. And, I cannot bear such a fate.

As you have become all that consumes me,
when I see you and I don’t speak with my heart,
I am a lie.
My entire being becomes a lie.

They say the truth has the ability to set one free.
How I hope there is truth behind such promises.
But, if it means I lose whatever it is that we are,
if you are no longer a fixture in my dust particle of a life,
the truth will have enslaved me to a life of sorrow.

How I hope they are right.